•In the quiet of the Morning

The quiet of the morning includes only the crackle of the fire and the occasional yawn from the dog. I can now only hear my labored breathing; it is the second time I have succumbed to the flu this season. I always think being under the weather is the way of the universe to stop me in my tracks. Was I really moving all that fast? Winter has been kept at bay with 50 degree temperatures all through November. However, December was as it should be and the new year has us in a deep freeze. We are covered with a blanket of snow and it's well below zero outside.

I do love the start of winter. Getting up early, when it’s still very dark out. I start the fire and the coffee. I open my laptop. I don’t turn on any lights and write in the dark, sleepy and cold, a blanket or two across my lap.

This tumultuous year has closed its chapter. Day is breaking and the first morning light bathes the river scape out my window in blue. The silence is broken by the trumpeting of a bevy of swan landing in the open water by the dam. I am the only witness to their beauty the cats and the dog don’t even twitch an ear.

(Photo by my friend Greg Granger. Check out his photography on facebook)

I feel blessed and I am in the deepest gratitude as a new chapter begins for our family.

My son, Chaz's, ordeal is over. The consequences are manageable. He has his job with hours that mess with his body clock, but for now he can work at getting on his feet again. It may be a long road until he is financially free, but his head and heart are in the right place. He is one year sober now, an enormous accomplishment. He is contemplating writing about all that has happened. There is a lot youth can learn from Chaz’s story. He is joyous about being home with Halyn again.

It is a joy watching him be a dad. He is willing to do some work on what it means to be in a relationship. My hope and dream is Chaz can learn from his parents’ mistakes.

Gerard has graduated from school. He is a certified jeweler and is open for business. Agefiozu (pronounced: a je fee o zu) Mind and Body Ware is his company name. He has spent this fall setting up his workshop. I am not sure what sugarplums are spinning in his head, but I have seen his school projects and I love being the model. He can repair your

jewelry and work on fashioning a new design with your old jewels if you wish. I think most importantly, Gerard has been our greatest jewel, our Knight in shining armor. He has been the backbone of this family, our steady eddy. Through this crisis, Chaz an

d I have been able to turn to him for support in every. We are blessed beyond measure.

Erin and Kyle have had an incredibly productive year. They have just moved into a garage… albeit a beautiful garage with knotty pine paneling through out. They built the garage themselves, literally made their own paneling(yep, split the wood from the trees on Kyle's grandpa's land!) and put in their own septic system. I can only imagine what they will do when they start on the house they will build. Through all the construction, Erin was working on her Masters in business administration and just finished. Yes, she has her MBA and with the slow down in the economy her job was iffy, but now there is a turn around for the steel industry and her job as an engineer in the mine is secure.

Halyn is a year old. I can barely

believe it. It has been a blink i

n time. She started walking on her birthday. She loves me to carry her around as she points to everything saying, “was zat?” She is in 7th heaven when I have this computer out and she can type a letter. She is getting her own laptop from me for xmas.

Halyn’s mama is spending more and more time with us. I couldn’t be more proud of the wonderful mother Britta is. Britta’s days are full with school. She is in a nursing program. Chaz and Britta are learning how bury the past and show up to be the best they can be for Halyn.

We have two new members in our family. We adopted a Samoyed/Shepard named Sitka and kitten that Chaz named Moscow. Moscow is Halyn's kitty. He is sweet and patient with Halyn and will play with her no matter how hard she tugs. Sitka has turned out to be a

wonderful companion and he has both Gerard and me off our butts and walking regularly.

As winter descends, we are finding that Sitka is really good with being off-leash and he can go out on his own and com

es right back. I still get out and take him for our official walks. I found out that our three-year old cat Kole is an actual breed: a Norwegian Forest cat. I am new fan of Animal Planet. Britta calls her a fancy barn cat. A barn is where she was born and we saved her from the dog (who is actually a wolf) at that residence. The animals bring a special kind of warmth

to northern winters. Moscow is being a foot warmer as I type.

As for me, well life’s

lessons are being learned. Although, I inherited a worry gene, I am learning to change that biology. Every year, I tell you through my letters that living in the moment is life’s greatest lesson and so it has been again this year. My present this year is being present. If I spend most of my time thinking about the past or future, I am missing life itself. It’s passing me by while I’m elsewhere. I can’t get the most out of life unless I learn to focus on being present, while things are happening. Thinking about all that’s happened, or what might happen or not happen next is useless if my kids’ lives are passing by with me being lost in worry.

I find that I enjoy life more if I’m present rather than having my mind elsewhere. Food tastes better, I have more fun with my family, even work becomes more enjoyable. Worrying about the past and future gives you stress. But being present is almost like meditation. There are no worries. There is just experiencing. I find that focusing on what I’m doing, rather than trying to multitask or multi-think a million different things at once, I actually complete what I’m doing, do a better job on it, and get it done faster. I don’t necessarily do more, but I get things done. It’s the magic of flow. I, basically, am learning to lose myself in whatever I’m doing. It’s a wonderfully productive zone to be in, and a state that also, incidentally, makes me happier.

Last year’s holiday season was fraught with crisis. This year, I am present to the warmth of family and making homespun gifts from the heart. There is no money this year. Our ordeal has left the accounts bone dry. First time I have been in debt in years. Yet, I live in extraordinary abundance... two homes with extraordinary views, a son who is safe and healing, a G-baby who is off and running, a daughter who is married and happy, a husband who stands at my side no matter what. I think I am enjoying the season more than I have in years. We are all together. We are safe and most importantly, we are happy.

“The living moment is everything.” - D.H. Lawrence

Wishing for you all things warm and wonderful in this new year.

~Catherine and Crew